Finding Fulfillment in Our Life's Journey
By Rev. LeRoy E. Zemke
Pastor, Temple of the Living God
"God is not attained by a process of addition to anything in the soul, but by a process of subtraction."
Meister Eckhardt
There, my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar;
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel: but being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice:
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy: rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel; oft proclaims the man.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true;
And it must follow, as night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare
Hamlet
Polonius' advice to his son, Laertes
Fulfillment: to carry out, or bring to a realization a goal or promise. To develop the full potential of (oneself).
Random House Dictionary of the English Language
Second Edition
Fulfillment implies that we can have one or many meaningful goals or promises about our life that brings us a deep sense of accomplishment, contentment, joy, peace, happiness. Often, the yearning for this sense of fulfillment unfolds or awakens early in our lives. But not until we've reached a level of maturity do we develop enough clarity about our journey that enables us, or empowers us to discern where and in what ways the fulfillment has occurred or is occurring, or has not occurred.
Finding fulfillment is about actually engaging in some physical, tangible manner within the day-to-day context of our lives. We may daydream, about a voyage to distant lands and cultures, but we cannot experience the daydream until we, in fact, actually visit the places of our fantasy. We can imagine a successful career, or a rewarding job or place of employment. We can imagine a significant relationship with some special "other". We can plan a project, give language to a much-desired learning opportunity in a special teaching environment. We can hope (desire) to become a gardener, a singer, dancer or writer. We can seek to discover treasure in far away or fabled lands, start a business, or become a husband/wife, father/mother. All of these are "promises" of what can be or might be.
Fulfillment comes in the doing, engaging, participating in the adventure. So often people say, I'll travel when I retire, when I'm older, have more money, when the children are grown, educated or married." What happens then is that the dream is delayed, gets derailed, detained and, more often than not, it dies.
When the dream dies (whatever the nature or form of the dream, goal or promise a person may have), not only does the fulfillment they seek fade, but they very effectively put their lives "on hold." The sense of meaning, purpose, mission, or accomplishment dies within them. And that, I believe, can lead one to despair, depression, or even delusion. For many, it is the tragedy of their lives.
There is a difference between a goal or a promise that we choose to release, let go of, or surrender and one that is never achieved because we delay it or diffuse it. When we consciously enter into the discovery of a goal or seek to bring an intention into form, and thus explore it to the best of our then available talents, skills and abilities, we make a choice to either pursue it or release it. That choice brings a sense of value into our lives. It brings a real learning or discovery that we incorporate.
On the other hand, when a yearning or goal is blocked, shut off, denied or simply postponed because other issues beg for our attention or other choices seem more valuable, more important, urgent or even critical, we close off (wall off) that part of our nature and it or the dream dies. Because it remains "shut out" or closed off, at that moment our life gets put on hold. Any real sense of fulfillment then fades into a foggy mist into the background of our lives. All too often it remains in the mists of memory.
Fulfillment is, once again, about doing. If one is to learn how to garden, one has to buy the tools, select the plants, prepare the planting medium, dig in the dirt and, presto...you've begun! Yes, one may know very little about growing plants and some may flourish and others not. Either way, one makes important discoveries.
In any arena of life, as one reflects upon the many areas of one's own varied experiences, our inner sense of fulfillment comes from what we have attempted to do (and perhaps have succeeded). What we dreamed of doing remains an unknown and, as such, remains in the realm of possibility.
Perhaps the most important underlying message of our life thrust involves the work of being true to the self as suggested in Shakespeare's "Hamlet." Being true is a work of uncovering who we are. We often seek to be fulfilled in our job, in our relationship, or efforts that ill fit us. We may force or attempt to make something fit. This is akin to a suit of clothing, once worn and enjoyed, but set aside because of our taste, temperament ... or body ... changed. Sometime (maybe years) later we attempt to wear it again only to find that what once fit fabulously now feels and fits us "nevermore."
An article of clothing does not define us. It outlines us. Who we are is an internal matter and requires us to look deep beneath the surface of our lives to find the answer.
As we allow an integration of our learning and our disappointments, the experiences of our life's journey bring us lasting fulfillment, contentment and joy. The rewards of life come not from everything we do being regarded as successful. Another definition of success is "having made the effort to live, to explore and dance the dance we are called to experience in the world." Even so, experience is only a partial teacher.
Beyond experience we must discern what worked, what did not. We must absorb what has value (for us) and what does not. We must find how the dance we dance carries life's implications for our soul and how our soul's song is heard beyond the din of the noisy world around us.
When that happens, peace ensues. When that happens, life's miracles break upon the shores of our longings and our hungerings. In self-knowing, self-discovery, we find our relationship to God, The Unlimited, All Knowing Presence that is deeply available wherever we walk, wander and wonder.
